Because wondering about the first person to animate vine
roses kept me in bed ten minutes longer. I’m considering how this might have
altered my day, maybe even the course of my entire life… This just happens, me
finding myself pondering fate once again.
I had lifted up his shirt and stuck my head underneath like
my head was bandaged to his belly. I had pulled the sheet up from the other
side, barricading myself from the sound of the cat batting its toy with the
tiny bell. I had crawled to the edge of the bed and tried to convince her to
take his foot instead. I took his foot and shook it back and forth and said Get
daddy’s foot. This didn’t work.
I could hear his heart beating strong, and this made the cat
bell make sense; it was part of the heart beat song and I didn’t want it to
stop. I thought about how much I loved him and how I never wanted him to die
and I saw the animated roses grow around his heart.
I had been lying in the other direction holding a pillow. A
pillow that was falling off the bed above my head and when I turned and it
tumbled I grabbed it in my sleep. Pillow ninja. I held it and though about
growing up on Mobile Bay and I laid awake for an hour, trying to not remember
and relax my muscles and focus on the black. It didn’t work. And while I was
laying there I was thinking about yesterday when he said he was going to get a
huge bird tattooed across he chest and I looked at him like he was insane. And
I covered his chest with my right hand and looked serious and said Don’t touch
my chest. This thinking about his chest soon had me rolling over to put my
cheek against it. I love his chest. It’s a winter chest big enough to store
your clothes in. And I also love where his chest meets his arms, and under his
arms and where those meet his back as well as the entirety of his back. And
everything else.
Before I ninja-ed the pillow I was dreaming. And it was a
wretched little dream not at all worth recounting.
2012
